A few more thoughts to share

I wasn't planning on writing more after my last post, but I have a few more thoughts to share.
Last week I started to feel nervous to go home and I wasn't sure why. I have looked forward to the day when I would leave since I got here, I mean I have enjoyed many parts of my experience, but I have always had a longing to go back home. Now the time has come for me to go and part of me doesn't want to. I really want to go home, but it makes me nervous to think about. Saying goodbye to people will be weird, hard and awkward, especially to people who have become a part of my life and now I may never see them again. I think I am nervous because I am definitely a creature of habit and don't exactly like big changes, coming here was a big change and it took me a long time to adjust. But, I adjusted and being here became my life and I created a rutine here. Now, in order to go back I must break that rutine and either create a new rutine at home or go back into an old rutine....something that I am not sure if I will be able to do easily.

On my last day at the University I was pretty sad. I said bye to some people I will really miss and I said bye to a place that was my haven from Quito. The University, while it was hard to make friends with the students and connect with them and some of the classes were jokes, I loved the time I spent sitting around the laguna either by myself, listening to my ipod, doing homework, or chatting with other students. I loved the fact that the University was a safe place, where I didn't feel like I had to constantly be aware of where I put my valuables, and it was not in Quito. I will miss it. I went through so much to adjust to living here and I feel like I did a lot of that adjusting while I was at the university, sitting near the laguna, with other linfielders.

I know I am really happy to go home, I couldn't stay here any longer, I am ready to go home, and I could never live here, but I am still sad. I think it's because it was such a big deal, the experience was huge, and really, really hard and the fact that it will just be over doesn't seem like it does it any justice. I don't know what would, but I think I am nervous to go back because it means the end of my experience and I don't know how to share it with people and how to tell them what I did for the past nine months and how I felt.

I just came back this morning from spending a few days at the beach with Ali. It was a small beach that we went to last semester and really enjoyed. There were hardly any people there, and we spent the whole time swimming, laying in the sun, sitting in hammocks and just relaxing. It was the perfect way to end some time here and I didn't want to leave, but there are some last things I need to do in Quito and people to spend some time with before I leave this adventure behind.

I hope you are all doing well and I will be seeing you soon!

Peace and Love,
Nadia