Closing Thoughts

Hey there,

Not sure if I really have an audience anymore since I have not written since January. I realized that I really do not like to blog, I prefer to send an individual an email or talk to them through skype rather than try to tell everyone what's going on through one post. I don't know why it was so hard for me to keep it up.
I wasn't planning on doing another post, but I felt like I needed to have a real last post, with some closing thoughts about my experience this year.

This semester was SO much better than my first one, I finally felt comfortable living in Quito and felt adjusted to my life here. Last semester I traveled a lot because I was always the happiest when I was not in Quito. This semester I have traveled less and spent more time in Quito, and have been happy.

The last post I wrote was right before my mom came to visit me, it was really nice having her here, but it was also hard because I knew she would be leaving and I would still be staying here. However, I am really glad she came because I feel like it is really hard to share my experience with people when they can't really imagine where I live, so I was glad she could see where I live. The day she left I went and signed up for salsa lessons because it was something I really wanted to do while I was here. I took lessons for two months with some friends and it was so much fun! I stopped lessons right before our spring break, where I went to Chile with a friend.

Sorry this post is jumping from thought to thought.

I am glad I stayed for my second semester, I seriously thought about not staying for another semester last semester because I was having such a hard adjustment, but I am glad that I stayed because if I had gone home last semester I would have thought this experience was the worst choice I ever made in my life, but by staying for a second semester I was able to enjoy my experience here. I have had some really good times here and some really hard times here. I learned a lot about myself by being here and I learned that I will never live in a big city. Lately I have been thinking about if I would go through this experience again if I knew what I knew now. I don't think I would, even though my experience is ending well, I think if I had chosen a program that fit me better I would have enjoyed my time even more and would not have had such a hard and long adjustment. I don't regret this experience, a lot of good did come out of it, but I just don't think I would do it again. I really wanted to have an experience where I didn't want to go back home, where I had made a lot of friends and felt like I really had a life. After this experience, I realized how much I love Oregon and how I don't want to live anywhere else, but I feel like if I had chosen a different program that fit me better possibly I would have been able to see myself living somewhere else.
Last semester, the only thing I wanted was to be sad to leave, really really sad to leave. About a week ago, I was thinking about going home and about some of the people I may never see again and it did make me feel sad, the thing is I will still be super happy to get on that plane on May 19th to go home.

A few weeks ago I was crossing the street to get to the university and I was thinking about how normal it was for me to be going to the university because it has become such a rutine of mine. Then I started thinking about how I thought I was pretty comfortable living in Quito and going to USFQ and was thinking that even though I wouldn't want to stay here longer, I could do it because I had adjusted. If I didn't go back to Linfield next year (don't worry I am going back), it wouldn't be that big of a deal because I feel like I have distanced myself quite a bit in a year...I would miss my friends a lot, but not Linfield (I miss Linfield now, but what I am saying is it wouldn't be hard not to go back). I started talking to Ali about this while we were in our ceramics workshop and I started thinking, could I actually be here longer? Maybe the only reason I feel content now is because my time here is almost up...and that thoroughly depressed me because I realized that was it. If I had to be here longer I wouldn't feel content like I do now, the only reason why I am content is because I am going home soon, so there is no reason to feel discontent, it will be over soon. I don't know why it upset me so much, but it did. I really had thought I was content with being here, and I am, but only until May 19th.

Like I said before, this semester was so much better than last semester and I really did enjoy my time here. I don't regret this experience, but I don't think I would do it again knowing what I know now.

I feel like there is so much more to say, but I am having trouble putting it into words and I feel like I am just being repetitive now.

I can't believe I have less than a month left here! It's so crazy to think about and weird to think I will actually be going back home.

I am spending my last week here with a few friends at the beach, I think that will be a good way to end my time here.

Well, I hope this post somewhat made sense.
See you in Portland!
Peace,
Nadia